


There's Something Weird, and It Don't Look Good

by Archangelsanonymous (Pattypixie)



Series: Patty Goes To The Movies [2]
Category: Ghostbusters (Movies 1984-1989), Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe-Ghostbusters, Bisexual Sam Winchester, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Pansexual Gabriel, There are no tags, There is no fic, There is only Zuul
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-03-22 21:49:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13773273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattypixie/pseuds/Archangelsanonymous
Summary: Gabriel, his cousin, Castiel, and their life-long friend Charlie are paranormal professors at Columbia University. Charlie finds a ghost, they get kicked out of school, things get weird.Who ya gonna call?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy my take on a Ghostbusters AU! It came on TV while I was in San Francisco and I just couldn't get it out of my head.
> 
> Its very very close to the movie (I'm writing it next to the script) so it will be similar to my Heathers AU in that respect.

“Alright,” Gabriel looked across the table at the two students that had volunteered to be test subjects in a _mostly_ serious study about the validity of ESP. The male student, Shane, was hooked up to electrodes that would shock him if he gave a wrong answer, but the female one, Jennifer, didn’t have the electrodes. “I’m going to turn over the next card. I want you to concentrate.” He winked at Jennifer, but put on a serious face when he turned to Shane. “Tell me what it is.” Gabriel flipped the card up, blank side facing the student. His eyes flicked down for a moment to see that a star was on the face side before staring at Shane again.

“A, um,” Shane fidgeted, running a hand through his curly dark hair. “A square?”

Gabriel flipped the card around to show Shane and pressed the button to shock him. “Good guess, but wrong.” He turned to Jennifer and put on a kind smile. “Now, clear your head.” Gabriel held up a card again. “Tell me what it is.”

Jennifer bit her lip in concentration, then looked up at Gabriel. “Is it a star?”

“It IS a star!” Gabriel set down the card he had held up which had a circle on the back. “Very good. That’s amazing.” Jennifer grinned and popped the gum that was in her mouth. Gabriel smiled and turned back to Shane, holding up a card that had a square on it. “Think hard now. What is it?”

“A circle!” Shane blurted out, apparently trying a more impulsive tactic. Gabriel shrugged and pressed the button, flipping the card around as Shane was shocked.

“Close, but definitely wrong,” Gabriel informed. He picked up another card and held it in front of Jennifer, a plus sign on it. “Ready? Let’s have it.” Jennifer was quiet for a few moments, and Gabriel frowned. “Come on now. Concentrate.”

Jennifer looked up at Gabriel for a moment before closing her eyes and taking a breath. “Figure eight.”

“Incredible,” Gabriel faux gasped, causing Jennifer to open her eyes in astonishment. “That’s five for five.” He leaned over the table into her space, but kept his arm in place with the card and looked back at it. “You can’t see these, can you?”

“No!” Jennifer giggled.

Gabriel set the card down, but stayed in her space for a moment. “You’re not cheating on me, are you?” He winked and Jennifer covered her giggles with her hand.

“No!” Jennifer impressed. “They’re just coming to me, I swear!”

“Alright,” Gabriel shrugged then went back to his seat. “Let’s try this again.” He turned to Shane, who started to pale. “Nervous?”

“Yes,” Shane admitted. “I don’t like this.”

“Don’t worry, you only have seventy-five more to go,” Gabriel reassured him, holding up a card with three wavy lines on it. “What’s this one?”

Shane straightened up in his chair and stared determinedly at the card. “A few wavy lines.”

Gabriel frowned at the card, mildly upset that the student was right. “Sorry,” he lied. “This just isn’t your lucky day.”

“I know, I—“ Shane finished his sentence with a squeak as he was shocked again. “I’m getting a little tired of this!”

“You volunteered, didn’t you?” Gabriel asked, and Shane nodded. “We’re paying you, yeah?”

“Well, yeah,” Shane scoffed. “I didn’t know you were going to be giving me electric shocks, though! What are you trying to prove here anyway?”

Gabriel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had given this explanation far too many times in too short of a timespan. “I’m studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability.”

“Well, the only effect is that it’s pissing me off!” Shane retorted.

“Maybe my theory is correct then!” Gabriel hissed.

Shane ripped the electrodes off of his hands and stood up. “You can keep the fifteen bucks! I’m done!” He stormed off, slamming the door of the lab behind him.

“I WILL!” Gabriel shouted after him. He turned back to Jennifer, who was in shock about the outburst and gathered one of her hands in his. “You should get used to that. It’s the kind of resentment your ability is going to provoke in some people.”

“You really think I have it, Dr. Novak?” Jennifer asked, wide-eyed.

“You’re no fluke, trust me,” Gabriel winked and started to lean in closer, when the sudden opening of the lab door distracted him. One of his partners, Dr. Charlie Bradbury, came into the room in a flurry, and started randomly grabbing things off the shelves.

“This is it!” Charlie announced. “This is definitely it! Did those UV lenses come in for the video camera?” She turned to Gabriel, who stared at her in confusion. “And that blank tape? I need it. The one you erased yesterday.”

Gabriel turned back to Jennifer, a kind smile on his face. “Can you excuse me for a second?”

“Sure,” Jennifer replied, unsure of what was happening. Gabriel pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly before letting go and confronting Charlie.

“Charlie, a moment,” Gabriel pulled his frantic colleague to the side and punched her in the arm. “I’m in the middle of something! Can you come back in like, an hour, hour and a half?”

“Gabe, buddy,” Charlie started, “at one-forty PM, at the main branch of the New York Public Library on fifth, ten people witnessed a free floating, full torso, vaporous apparition!” Charlie’s voice seemed to increase in pitch as she explained. “It blew the books off shelves from twenty feet away and scared the shit out of some poor librarian!”

“Hey! I’m very excited,” Gabriel explained. “I’m so pleased and I want you to get right down there, check it out, and then get back to me.” He patted Charlie on the back then turned to go back to Jennifer.

“No, no, no,” Charlie grabbed Gabriel’s arm and spun him back around. “You’re coming with us! Cas already went down there and took PKE valances. They’re off the top of the scale! Buried the needle! We’re so close on this one, I can feel it.”

Gabriel made a fist and brought it to his mouth, biting his knuckles. He looked at Jennifer, then back at Charlie, and sighed in defeat. “You’re right. We’re close.” He held up a finger to Charlie and walked back over to Jennifer. “I have to go—urgent paranormal business—but I’d love to work with you some more. Maybe you could come back this evening at say—“

“Eight o’clock?” Jennifer suggested.

“I was just about to say that,” Gabriel winked. “You’re a real phenomenon!” He held out his hand for Jennifer and walked her to the door, whispering promises to see her later the entire way. Once she was gone, he spun around and glared at Charlie. “This better be good.”

***

“As a friend, I have to tell you,” Gabriel huffed as Charlie led him into the library. “You’ve finally gone insane on this ghost business. You’ve been running your ass off meeting and greeting every schitzo in the five boroughs who says he had a paranormal experience.” They walked in and made it to the reading room, which was taped off and looked trashed. “What have  _ you _ seen?”

“Excuse you,” Charlie pointed a finger at Gabriel. “I was present at an undersea, unexplained, mass sponge migration.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Those sponges ‘migrated’ about a foot and a half.” He scanned the room and noticed that his cousin, Dr. Castiel Novak, was currently huddled under a table, listening to it with a stethoscope. Smirking, Gabriel walked over to the table and bent over it, speaking into the wood. “Castiel…” He heard a rustling under the table, then rapped his knuckles on the surface and slammed a book on it. A thump came from underneath and Cas peaked out from under the table, rubbing his head.

“Oh, you’re here,” Cas deadpanned, as per usual. He scrambled upright and removed the stethoscope from his ears.

“What have you got?” Gabriel asked.

“This is very big, Gabriel,” Cas explained, as excited as someone with a consistently monotone voice could be. “There is definitely something here.”

“Why is this reminding me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head?” Gabriel put a finger to his chin. “Do you remember that?”

Cas frowned. “That would have worked if you hadn’t stopped me.”

Gabriel was about to retort when a man came up to them, looking the exact stereotype of a librarian, down to the corduroy jacket with leather elbow patches and oversized glasses on his face. “Hello, I’m Roger Delicore,” he introduced. “Are you from the university?”

“Yes,” Gabriel stepped forward and held out his hand. “I’m Dr. Novak.” He pointed to Cas. “Dr. Novak.” He pointed to Charlie. “Dr. Bradbury. No, we aren’t law professors.”

“I, um,” Roger frowned, obviously not getting the joke. “Thank you for coming. I hope this can be cleared up quickly and quietly.”

“Now, Roger, can I call you Roger?” Gabriel asked, taking him aside. The librarian nodded, still a little confused. “We can’t rush into things. We don’t even know what you have yet. Now, where is the woman that was most affected?”

Roger led the three professors to a smaller room where a middle-aged woman was laying on her back on a table, still visibly shaken. “Her name is Alice.”

Gabriel walked over to the woman and grabbed her hand. “Hey there, Alice. Wanna tell me what you saw?”

“I—I don’t remember seeing any legs,” Alice recalled. “But it definitely had arms because it reached out for me.”

“Arms?” Charlie blurted. “I can’t wait to get a look at this thing!” Gabriel shot her a look, then turned back to Alice.

“Just a few standard questions,” Gabriel smiled. “Have you or any of your family ever been diagnosed as schizophrenic or mentally incompetent?”

Alice furrowed her brow as she considered the question. “My uncle thought he was the reincarnation of Saint Jerome.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened. “I’d call that a big yes. Do you habitually use drugs, stimulants, or alcohol?”

“No!” Alice huffed.

“Hey, hey,” Gabriel tried to calm her. “Just asking. Now, are you menstruating currently?”

“What has that got to do with it?” Roger sputtered, offended on Alice’s behalf.

Gabriel turned to him, palm out. “Sir, please. I’m a scientist.”

“Charlie,” Cas interrupted, his nose buried in a EMF meter. “It’s moving.”

Gabriel dropped Alice’s hand without ceremony, and followed Charlie and Cas, currently tracking whatever it was they had found. They found themselves lead to the basement, Cas leading them, Charlie behind him with a video camera, and Gabriel bringing up the rear, looking bored to tears.

“Oh, man, look at that,” Charlie commented, pointing at a large tower of stacked books.

“The meter is reaching very high levels,” Cas confirmed.

“Symmetrical book stacking,” Charlie moved around the books, making sure the camera caught them from every angle. “This is just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow and huffed. “You’re absolutely right. No human being would stack books like this.”

“Wait!” Charlie stopped in her tracks. “Do you smell something?”

“Over here,” Cas said, standing by a card catalog. As they approached it, it looked as if it was covered in some sort of clear slime.

Charlie gasped. “Ectoplasmic residue.”

“Gabriel, will you get a sample of this?” Cas asked, already moving on.

“It’s the real thing!” Charlie supplied, bouncing a little.

Gabriel rolled his eyes and grabbed the jar and sample stick that Charlie had dug out of her bag and was handing him. “Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?”

“I’d like to analyze it,” Cas explained, turning to talk to Charlie about their discovery. Gabriel walked closer to the goo and wrinkled his nose at the smell. He quickly scraped some into the jar, his hurry causing some of it to get on his hands. Groaning, he closed the jar, then flicked and wiped the stray slime off of his hands.

“There’s more over here!” Charlie called from a few shelves away.

“I’m getting stronger readings, too,” Cas added. Gabriel followed their voices and found them crouched down, examining another splattering of ectoplasm.

“Cas, your mucus,” Gabriel held out the container at the same time that a bookshelf nearby fell down with a crash. He gripped the jar tighter and crouched down with his colleagues. “This happen to you before?” Charlie looked at him, wide-eyed, and shook her head. “Oh, first time?” She nodded. Perfect. Cas’s meter started to beep frantically and as they turned, something in the aisle caught their eye.

In the main aisle, floating on by, was a greyish fog shaped exactly like a woman’s head and torso from sometime in the late 1800’s. It paid no mind to them as it turned away and started to ooze all over the shelf of books it was inspecting.

“A full-torso apparition,” Charlie hissed, practically vibrating. “And it’s real!”

“So, what do we do?” Gabriel asked, turning to Charlie for an answer. The woman was still fixated on the ghost and was gonna have to be pulled out of the trance physically. Gabriel sighed and nudged Charlie, who finally turned to him, wide-eyed. “Oy, what do we do?”

“I don’t know,” Charlie bit her lip and poked Cas. “What do you think?”

Cas went for his calculator and Gabriel snatched it out of his hand. “Stop that! The ghost is RIGHT THERE. Numbers aren’t going to help now!”

“Numbers always help,” Cas mumbled.

“Wait,” Charlie held up a finger. “You’re right. It’s right there. We have to make contact. One of us should try to actually speak to it.”

“Good idea,” Cas agreed, turning to Gabriel. Charlie looked up at Gabriel as well, grinning nervously.

“Fine,” Gabriel groaned, standing up and carefully walking toward the ghost. He held out his hands, as if that would stop the ghost from doing anything to him. Once he got within five feet of the apparition, he swallowed and started to speak. “Hello there. I’m Gabriel.” The presence didn’t respond so he cleared his throat and continued. “So, come here often? Or are you just...”

This finally seemed to garner a response from the ghost who turned to Gabriel, pressed an index finger to her lips and frowned. “Shhh…”

“Right,” Gabriel whispered. He nodded, then turned around, returning to his colleagues. “So, the usual stuff isn’t working. What now?”

Charlie cracked her knuckles. “I have a plan.” She handed Gabriel a contraption that looked suspiciously like a hand mixer with extra buttons and lights. “Now, I know just what we need to do so, do  _ exactly _ as I say.” She crept forward, taking the lead. “Stay close to me.” Cas and Gabriel followed behind her, waiting intently for her next instructions. They ended up just out of view of the ghost before Charlie stopped. “On my signal…GET HER!”

All three of them leapt up to contain the ghost, but as they did, the apparition turned and transformed into a horrifying, inhuman creature with fangs and claws. It screamed at them, a blood-curdling and unearthly noise that sent them running back upstairs. They ran into the room with Roger and Alice, and Roger looked at them, concerned.

“Did you see it?” Roger asked. “What was it?”

Gabriel, refusing to slow down, yelled behind him, “We’ll get back to you!”

Without waiting for a response, they continued to run to the main entrance of the library and out its doors. Once they reached the bright, loud, odiferous sanctuary that was street-side New York City, they finally stopped to catch a breath.

“Well, that was fun!” Charlie managed to get out after a few minutes. Cas and Gabriel glared at her silently.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't expect updates this quick normally. I'm just on a ROLL.

“’Ahaha, get her!’” Gabriel mocked as he, Charlie, and Cas walked across campus, back to their lab. “That was your whole plan. Get. Her. Super scientific, Charles.”

“I just got overexcited,” Charlie shrugged her bag higher on her shoulder. “But, honestly. Wasn’t it incredible? I mean,” she held out her palms and wiggled her fingers a bit, “we actually touched the ethereal plane. Do you know what this could mean to the university?”

“Yeah, it will be bigger than the microchip,” Gabriel rolled his eyes.  “I’m very excited.”

“I wouldn’t say the experience was totally wasted,” Cas had his nose in his calculator again, and was pressing buttons furiously. “According to these readings, I think we would have an excellent chance of actually catching a ghost and holding it indefinitely.”

“This is great!” Charlie grinned and pushed Cas out of the way from running into a pole while he was focused on his numbers--a common event for them. “If this ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads! Well…Spiritually.”

“Sparrow,” Gabriel’s old nickname for Cas slipped out, “you’re serious about catching a ghost?”

Cas looked up at Gabriel as they stopped outside their lab. “I’m always serious.”

Charlie went to open the door to their lab, but jumped back when a man with a hand truck came out of it, hauling some of their equipment. Once he passed by, Charlie walked into the lab to see their Dean, Michael Yeager, standing to the side, watching the men work. “Hey! Dean Yeager!”

Gabriel walked in next, a little suspicious of the men. “I assume you’re moving us to better quarters on campus.”

“No!” Yeager scoffed. “You’re being moved  _ off _ campus. The board has decided to terminate your grant. You’re to vacate the premises immediately.”

“Excuse me?” Gabriel stepped forward, sizing up Yeager. “I demand an explanation.”

“Fine,” Yeager sighed and rolled his eyes. “The university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group’s activities.”

“But the kids love us!” Gabriel argued, knowing his point fell flat as soon as it left his mouth.

“Dr. Novak,” Yeager puffed up his chest. “We believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of dodge or hustle.” Gabriel frowned, and clenched his fists. “Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable.” Yeager brought up his hand and poked Gabriel’s chest. “You, Dr. Novak, are a poor.” Poke. “Scientist.” Poke. “And you have no place in this department or university.”

***

“Okay, but did you really have to punch him?” Charlie sighed, sitting on a park bench with a box of desk items in her lap. Cas had gone back the university to salvage anything he could from the gutted lab, but they all knew it wouldn’t be much.

“He kept poking me,” Gabriel huffed, taking a drink from the paper bag covered bottle of whiskey in his hand. “Fucking deserved it.”

“This is a major disgrace,” Charlie groaned, hanging her head into her box. “Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn’t touch us with a ten-meter cattle-prod.”

“Christ, Chuck,” Gabriel sat down next to her. “You’re always so concerned with your  _ ‘reputation’ _ .” He held up his free hand and mimed quotations. “Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk.”

Charlie perked up. “How much does a patent clerk earn?”

“Stop that!” Gabriel scolded.

“You know what?” Charlie stood up and set her box down on the bench. “I liked the university! They gave us money, facilities, a  _ paycheck _ , and we didn’t have to produce squat! You’ve never been out of college. You don’t know what it’s like out there.” She motioned vaguely behind her. “I’ve worked in the private sector. They expect results.”

Gabriel stood up next to Charlie. “For whatever reasons--call it fate. Call it luck or karma. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I honestly believe we were destined to get thrown out of that dump.”

“Why?”

Gabriel smiled. “To go into business for ourselves, of course.” He offered the bottle to Charlie and she hesitantly took a drink.

“I mean, it could work,” Charlie sighed. “This ecto-containment system that Cas and I have in mind is going to require a lot of dough to create. Where do you expect to get the money?”

“I don’t know,” Gabriel grabbed the bottle back and took a swig. “But it’ll happen. I know it.”

***

“Will you stop whining already?” Gabriel groaned as he, Cas, and Charlie walked down the streets of Manhattan. “We got the money and we’re on our way to check out a place! You won’t regret this!”

“My parents left me that house!” Charlie whined. “I was born there! Literally!”

“One, that’s gross,” Gabriel stated. “Two, you’re not going to lose the house. Everyone has three mortgages nowadays.”

“At nineteen percent?” Charlie asked. “You couldn’t have  _ bargained _ with the guy a little?”

Cas held up a calculator. “For your information, Charlie, the interest rate alone for the first five years comes to ninety-five thousand dollars.” A strangled sound came out of Charlie at the numbers.

“Relax!” Gabriel waved his hand as they rounded the corner. “We are on the threshold of establishing the indispensable defense science of the next decade.” He held up his hands and mimed a banner. “Professional paranormal investigations and eliminations. The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams.” He stopped in front of an old, dilapidated firehouse with whitewashed windows. “And here is where we will do it.” A woman stood outside of the building and Gabriel walked over to her. “We’re here for the showing?”

“Come on in, then!” The realtor cheerfully invited, leading them to the door. She put the key in the lock and attempted to turn it. After struggling a bit and her smile fading, she finally popped the door open and let out a satisfied sigh. “Here we are.” She let the group of scientists in first and followed behind. “As you can see, there’s office space, sleeping quarters and showers on the next floor, and a full kitchen on the top left.”

Gabriel watched Charlie run past them to look upstairs, then turned back to the realtor. “It seems a bit pricey for a ‘unique fixer upper opportunity’, that’s all. Cas, what do you think?”

“I think this building should be condemned,” Cas decided, looking around. He pointed up at the support beams. “There’s serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing beams. The wiring is substandard—completely inadequate for our power needs—and the neighborhood has all the comforts of a demilitarized zone.” The realtor paled at Cas’s assessment and started to go through her notes when Charlie appeared at the railing of the upstairs loft.

“Hey!” Charlie called, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Does this pole still work?” Without waiting for an answer, she wrapped herself around the pole and slid down. When the landed at the bottom, the mat let up a cloud of dust but Charlie giggled through the coughing. “Oh, man, this place is great! When can we move in? You all have got to try this pole!” She ran back upstairs and got ready to go down the pole again. “Hey, we should stay here tonight! To try it out, you know?” She slid down the pole again, unable to contain her glee.

“Uh,” Gabriel turned to the realtor. “I think we’ll take it.”

The woman let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

***

Sam stepped out of his cab, onto the sidewalk that ran in front of his apartment building. It was a nice enough day and he was almost tempted to take a deep breath of the haze that coated the city. The day had been relatively slow, but he was definitely ready to go inside, have a beer, and veg out in front of the television for the rest of the night. He nodded at the doorman as he walked past and got into the elevator. As it took him up to his floor, he loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt a bit. The elevator dinged and the doors opened to his familiar hallway and one of his neighbor’s doors opened.

“Sam! It’s you!” A blonde with wide eyes and a huge grin appeared from behind the door.

“Yes, Becky, it’s me,” Sam sighed.

“I thought it was the drugstore,” Becky explained. “But I’m glad it’s you.”

“Are you sick?” Sam asked, a little too much enthusiasm in his voice.

“Oh!” Becky let out a laugh that could only be described as a cackle. “No, I’m fine. I feel great actually. I just ordered some more vitamins and stuff cuz I’ve been working out a lot.” Becky stepped out into the hallway and let her door close. “I taped a twenty minute workout and played it back at a high speed so it only took ten minutes.”

Sam stepped past Becky and made it to his own door. “That’s, uh…That’s great.”

“You wanna come in for a mineral water?” Becky offered. “I have Pellegrino.”

“You know, I’d love to but I…” Sam quickly wracked his brain for an excuse. “I just have so much work to catch up on.”

“No biggie,” Becky smiled. “I’ll just take a rain check. Always got plenty of healthy food stocked up just like you like. You already know that though, huh?”

Sam put his key in his lock and turned it. “Yeah, I know.”

“Oh, that reminds me!” Becky skipped toward Sam. “I’m having a big party for all my clients and even though you won’t take me up on planning a party for you, I’d really like you to stop by cuz you’re my neighbor and all and—“

“Thanks, Becky,” Sam cut her off. “I’ll try and stop by.” He opened his door in an attempt to end the conversation.

“By the way!” Becky started. “You shouldn’t leave your TV on so loud when you go out. The jerk down the hall phoned the manager.”

Sam poked his head back around the door. “I didn’t think I left it on.”

“That’s weird,” Becky shrugged. “I tried to turn it off by climbing out on the ledge and disconnecting the cable but I couldn’t get in so instead I turned MY TV up really loud so that everyone would think that all of our TVs had something wrong with them and—

“Bye, Becky,” Sam sighed, finally getting into his apartment and closing the door on her. He set his bag down and noticed his TV was still on. About to turn it off, he grabbed the remote, but noticed an ad come on that featured three people in long, blue lab coats. He’d never seen it before, so he decided to watch.

The red-headed woman in the middle stepped forward. “Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?” She stepped back when her line was finished.

The dark haired man to her right stepped up next and spoke in a severe monotone. “Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?” He stepped back as well when he was done.

The last person, a blond man that Sam found particularly attractive, stepped forward and said his line with a lot more enthusiasm. “Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter, or ghost?” This time, when he stepped back, the redhead stepped up again.

“If the answer is yes, then don’t wait another minute! Pick up your phone and call the professionals.” The two men stepped up to join her and in unison, they shouted, “Ghostbusters!”

“Our courteous and efficient staff is on call twenty-four hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs,” The redhead continued.

“We’re ready to believe,” the three said, then pointed at the camera, “YOU!” The screen turned blue and flashed a message on the screen reading “GHOSTBUSTERS: 555-2368”

Sam rolled his eyes and turned off the TV. How ridiculous would people have to be to actually believe in ghosts or the paranormal? Maybe he did when he was a kid, but now he was a grown adult with a job and a desperate need for a beer. He took off his tie and laid it on the back of one of his armchairs before heading into the kitchen. Maybe someday he’d use it for something other than microwaving leftovers from Chinese places. He opened the fridge to grab a beer and was instead met with some sort of swirling, pink and purple portal. Several moments were spent just staring into the portal before a dog-like creature appeared in front of it, slobbering and growling.

“Zuul!” It howled, otherworldly.

Sam opened his mouth to scream, but instead slammed the door shut and collapsed, unconscious.


	3. Chapter 3

Gabriel stood on the sidewalk outside their building and watched as the sign they ordered was being put up. It was a navy blue sign with “GHOSTBUSTERS” in small, white writing, and honestly Gabriel was a bit concerned. He reached his hand up and scratched his chin.

“You don’t think that’s too subtle, do you?” Gabriel called to the worker putting up the sign. He frowned when the guy ignored him. “Are people going to be able to drive down and actually SEE the sign?” The guy went to say something but was drowned out as a dark blue hearse pulled up in front of the large garage door that lead into the building. Gabriel ran over and waved his arms above his head to call attention to the driver. “Hey, buddy! You can’t park that here!”

“Chill, Gabe!” Charlie yelled, turning off the car and getting out. “I found the car! I mean, it needs some suspension work, and shocks…and brakes.” She held up her hand and started ticking the problems off with her fingers. “Brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear—“

“How much?” Gabriel asked, nervous to hear the answer.

“Only forty-eight hundred!” Charlie announced proudly as Gabriel groaned. “Also need some new rings, muffler, a little wiring…all in all, not too bad!”

“You’re gonna be the one working on it,” Gabriel pointed at Charlie as he walked back into the building, shaking his head. He looked up and saw their new secretary, a dark-haired woman with a Brooklyn accent named Janine, with her high heel clad feet up on the desk, reading a magazine. “Ay, Janine! Any calls?”

“Nah,” Janine replied, not looking up from her magazine.

“Messages?” Gabriel offered.

“Nope,” Janine licked her finger, and used it to turn to the next page.

“Any customers at all?” Gabriel hoped, standing beside her desk now.

Janine sighed and lowered the magazine slightly to look at him. “No, Dr. Novak.”

Gabriel frowned. “Will you just,” he waved his hand, “type something or whatever? We’re paying you for this!” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll be in my office.” He walked away and once his office door closed, Janine tapped the top of the desk. Cas climbed out from underneath, confused.

“Do you require something?” Cas asked, wires in both hands.

“You know, you’re real handy, I can tell,” Janine grinned. “You like to read a lot?”

“Print is dead,” Cas stated.

“I think reading is fascinating,” Janine explained. “Some people think I’m too intellectual, ya know? What are your hobbies?”

Cas furrowed his brow. “I collect spores, molds, and fungus.”

Janine was quiet for a moment then narrowed her eyes. “You’re gay, ain’t ya?”

“I am very homosexual, yes,” Cas confirmed. “May I get back to fixing your telephone?”

Janine sighed and nodded, and Cas descended back under her desk. “Waste, I tell ya.” She was about to go back to her magazine when she noticed someone come in the front door. Janine set down her magazine and picked up a file for her nails. She had to keep a better eye on the tall, handsome man in a light blue sweater and jeans that had just strolled in.

“Um, excuse me,” The man cleared his throat once he got up to Janine’s desk. “This is the Ghostbusters’ office, right?”

“It sure is,” Janine confirmed. “Can I help you?”

“I don’t have an appointment but,” the man looked around to see if there was anyone else around, “I’d like to talk to someone please.”

Janine swore that she only blinked her eyes once before Gabriel was back at her desk, leaning against it and grinning at the man. “Dr. Gabriel Novak,” he announced, holding out his hand. “May I have the pleasure of helping you?” Janine rolled her eyes and went back to her nails.

The man smiled softly and shook Gabriel’s hand. “Maybe. What I’m about to say may sound a little unusual.”

“Oh, that’s all we get day in and day out around here,” Gabriel stood up straight and gestured to his office. “Let’s talk back here, Mr…”

“Winchester,” the man offered. “Sam Winchester.”

“Sam,” Gabriel smiled, leading him back to his office. “Can I call you Sam?”

“I guess?” Sam shrugged, walking in to Gabriel’s office as he held the door open.

“Now,” Gabriel closed the door behind himself, “what seems to be the problem?”

***

Sam was quickly regretting coming to the Ghostbusters for help. So far he had had to recount his story three different times and now, on the fourth time, he was strapped so some sort of modified lie detector with all three scientists huddled around a monitor while he talked.

“…and this voice said ‘Zuul’. After that, I slammed the door closed and woke up on the floor about an hour later,” Sam recounted again. “I high-tailed it out of there and haven’t been back to my apartment in two days.”

“I assume you don’t usually see that behavior in your major appliances?” Gabriel asked, earning a glare from Sam. “Right. What do you think it was?”

“Well, if I knew what it was, I wouldn’t be here,” Sam replied.

Gabriel turned to his cousin. “What do you think, Cas?”

Cas moved even closer to the monitor, so his nose was practically touching the screen. “He’s telling the truth. At least, he thinks he is.”

Sam huffed. “Of course, I’m telling the truth. Who would make up a story like that?”

“Some people do it for attention,” Gabriel shrugged. “Others are just nutballs that come in off the street.”

“Oh!” Charlie piped up, snapping her fingers. “You know what? It could be a past-life experience intruding on present time.”

“Or erased memories stored in the collective unconscious,” Cas offered, backing away from the monitor and standing up. “I wouldn’t rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact, either.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam shook his head, detaching himself from the machine. “I don’t believe in any of those things.”

Gabriel rushed over to help Sam. “It’s alright. I don’t either.” He winked and gave Sam a smile. “Some things we do, though, and there are standard procedures that we carry out in cases like this that often bring results.” Once Sam was fully detached from the machine, Gabriel helped him up.

“I’ll head down to the hall of records and check out the structural details in the building,” Charlie suggested, shoving a notebook in her bag and throwing it over her shoulder. “Maybe the building itself has a history of psychic disturbance.”

“Yes,” Gabriel pointed at Charlie. “Do that.”

“I’ll look for the name ‘Zuul’ in the usual literature,” Cas decided.

“Spates Catalog?” Charlie asked.

“Tobin’s Spirit Guide.”

“Oh, of course. Obviously.”

“Well, while you all are doing that,” Gabriel cleared his throat. “I’ll take Mr. Winchester here back to his apartment and check him out—“ His eyes widened at what he had said, and he looked over at Sam nervously. “Uh, his apartment! I’ll be checking _his apartment_ out, okay?”

Sam smirked knowingly, but let Gabriel’s slip go. “Sounds good.”

“If we’re lucky, we’ll get this thing wrapped up by dinner,” Gabriel clapped his hands. “Let’s go!” He led Sam out of the lab and back through the front of the building. When he passed Janine, he stopped for a moment. “We’ll all be out the rest of the day, Janine.”

“Can I be out for the rest of the day?” The receptionist stopped painting her nails and looked up hopefully.

“Do you want to be paid for the rest of the day?” Gabriel asked.

Janine huffed and went back to her nails. “Fine. But I’m not stayin’ a second past five.”

Gabriel sighed. “Wouldn’t expect you to.” He turned back to Sam. “Ready to go back?”

“Don’t have much of a choice, do I?” Sam smiled nervously. “I feel better going with you though.”

“Well,” Gabriel coughed and turned away to hide his blush. “Just doing my job.” He quickly started walking ahead of Sam and held open the front door for him. When Sam walked out, he held his arm up for a cab, but Gabriel grabbed his bicep and pulled it down. “We’ll take my ride, yeah?” He grinned and pointed his thumb behind him at the hearse that Charlie had already packed full of paranormal hunting instruments.

Sam looked a bit squeamish, but quickly schooled his expression. “Yeah, sure. Beats paying for a cab.” He walked around to the passenger side and opened the door, cringing at the squeaking hinges.

“Yeah, sorry,” Gabriel chuckled nervously, climbing into the driver’s seat. “Still needs a little bit of TLC, but soon she’ll look brand new.” He turned the engine over and it bucked a few times, but finally steadied out. Sam buckled his seatbelt and pulled it tight.

The drive over to Sam’s apartment wasn’t completely horrible if Gabriel didn’t count stalling out on 11th avenue. (He didn’t but Sam apparently did.) Sam got out of the car as quickly as he could once they parked, and Gabriel rummaged around to grab a few items that would hopefully help him diagnose whatever was hanging around the flat. Once he had what he needed, he threw the bag over his shoulder and joined Sam on the sidewalk.

“Lead the way,” Gabriel gestured for Sam to walk ahead of him and followed behind into the building. Sam looked nervous in the elevator and Gabriel flashed a smile that hopefully calmed him down a bit. When they got to the apartment, Sam unlocked it, but Gabriel placed a hand on his--holy shit was he muscular--chest and pushed him back. “Let me. If something is gonna happen in here, I want it to happen to me first.” He walked into the apartment, cautiously, holding up an EMF meter. His eyes flicked back and forth from the readings on the meter to where he was walking. There was a door on his left and he gently turned the knob, then threw it open, bracing himself for anything that might have been in there. When he peeked there was...Nothing.

“The closet?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. Gabriel turned back to him and put a finger to his lips to quiet Sam. The scientist walked over to the upright piano that stood in the living room and started to play the two highest notes over and over again.

“They hate this,” Gabriel explained, seeing the annoyed look on Sam’s face. “I like to torture them.” He looked around and called out, “That’s right! It’s Dr. Novak!” When nothing happened, he frowned and looked down, turning a couple dials on his meter. “So, this is a lot of space. Just you?”

“Yeah,” Sam shrugged.

“Good,” Gabriel blurted out, then looked up at Sam wide-eyed. “I mean, uh, good that only you were exposed to this.” God, he had to keep himself in check, but how could he when he was standing in the living room of a man that had stepped right out of his dreams? He held the meter out at arm’s length and started moving around the apartment with it.

“What’s that thing you’re doing?” Sam asked, having to move out of Gabriel’s way as he walked down the hall.

“Technical, ghost hunting stuff,” Gabriel vaguely clarified. “It’s just one of our little toys.”

“I see,” Sam raised an eyebrow, then noticed the door that Gabriel was heading towards. “Oh, that’s the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.”

“Shame,” Gabriel muttered, then smirked to himself.

“You know, you don’t act like a scientist,” Sam mused, crossing his arms and leaning against a wall.

Gabriel smiled when he turned around. “Yeah? They’re pretty stiff.”

“You remind me more of…” Sam thought for a moment. “A game show host.”

Gabriel’s smile quickly fell and he walked past Sam to the kitchen. “This is where it happened, right?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded. “I was going to grab a beer, opened the door and just…” He gestured with his hands and Gabriel hummed.

“That’s definitely weird,” Gabriel confirmed. He held up the EMF and started walking around the kitchen. He could see himself in this apartment. Coming home from work with Sam cooking dinner and wearing nothing but an apron. He looked over at the stove and lost himself for a minute in the daydream.

“Dr. Novak,” Sam sighed, pulling Gabriel out of his daze. “You’ve come all this way. Don’t you want to check the fridge?”

“Right,” Gabriel coughed and cleared his throat. “Good call. I’ll check the fridge.” He opened the door and gasped. “Oh my God…”

Sam ran around the island counter to stand next to Gabriel. “Do you see it?”

“No, but what the hell is all this health food?” Gabriel scoffed. “Is that kale? You actually eat this stuff?”

Sam groaned and rolled his eyes. “It was here, I swear!" He started to get upset and waved his hands around. "All of my food was gone and none of this was here! There was a space, and there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and creatures riding around! They were growling and snarling and there were flames!” He searched the fridge frantically. “I heard a voice say ‘Zuul’! It was right here, I swear!”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at Sam. “Uh, I’m sorry, but I’m just not getting any reading.” He took the chance of having Sam close to him to take a nice look up and down his body.

“Are you sure you’re using that thing correctly?” Sam snarled.

“Oy,” Gabriel held up a hand. “I’m the professional. Maybe there was something before but there’s definitely nothing in your fridge now.”

Sam threw up a hand and closed the fridge. “Well, that’s great. Either there’s a monster hiding in my kitchen or I’m completely crazy.” He walked back around the counter and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

Gabriel put the EMF down on the counter and walked around to Sam. “Hey, I don’t think you’re crazy.”

“That makes me feel _so_ much better,” Sam huffed, walking past Gabriel and back into the front room.

“Sam,” Gabriel called, following him. It was now or never. “Listen, let me tell you something about myself. I come home from work to my place and all I have is my work. There’s nothing else in my life!”

Sam looked over at Gabriel, confused. “Dr. Novak—“

“I meet you and I say, ‘wow’,” Gabriel continued, grinning, “’there’s someone with the same problem I have!’”

“I think you have the wrong—“

“I’m gonna go for broke,” Gabriel took a deep breath. “I think I’m falling for you.”

Sam paused for a moment, jaw dropped. “I can’t believe this.” He walked to the door and opened it. “Please leave.”

“Okay, okay,” Gabriel shook his head. “I got it! I’ll prove myself to you!”

“Please don’t,” Sam sighed.

“I will!” Gabriel announced, ignoring Sam. “I’ll solve your problem.”

“Uh…”

“And then you’ll say ‘That Gabriel Novak is a guy who gets things done!’”

“Right.”

“You’ll wonder what makes me tick,” Gabriel winked, finally leaving Sam’s apartment. “I know I wonder what makes you tick.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Sam gritted his teeth.

“I bet you’re going to be thinking about me after I’m gone,” Gabriel teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You bet I am!” Sam groaned, slamming the door.

“Hey!” Gabriel yelled, knocking on the door. “No goodbye kiss?” When he received no response, he huffed and walked away, back down the hall. This wasn't the end. He'd fix Sam's problem, and he'd get Sam. He knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damnit, Gabriel.  
> Keep it in your pants.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. I was feeling less than confident in my writing of this, but I knew I had to keep going. :D

Gabriel looked around at the solemn faces of his colleagues as they ate their dinner of Chinese delivery. They hadn’t had a call or walk-in since Sam and he could tell that they were getting discouraged. “Come on, guys,” he held up his can of Mountain Dew. “To our first customer.”

“To our first and  _ only _ customer,” Charlie amended, holding up her can. Cas followed suit and they toasted, begrudgingly.

“I got to take out some petty cash,” Gabriel mused as he took a bite of his egg roll. “I—We should take him out to dinner. Don’t want to lose him as a customer.”

“Uh, sorry, Gabe,” Charlie bit her lip. “This magnificent feast is the last of the petty cash.”

Gabriel paused with his egg roll halfway to his mouth. “Well, shit.”

Out in the lobby, Janine’s phone started to ring and she looked at it with disdain. Abandoning her magazine, she picked up the receiver. “Y-ello, Ghostbusters…Yes, they’re serious.” She sighed, but straightened up as the caller continued to talk. “You do? No kidding?” Brushing some items aside, she grabbed a pen and started to write on a scrap of paper. “Uh-huh…Oh, yeah, they’ll be totally discreet. They’re on their way. Thank you!” She slammed the phone down and stood up, holding the paper in the air. “We got a live one!”

All three scientists dropped their chopsticks and ran to the lobby. “You’re sure?” Charlie asked.

“Of course I’m sure,” Janine rolled her eyes. “Now, get! They’re waiting on ya!”

“Thank you,” Charlie ran over and grabbed the paper from her, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before heading to the garage. Janine blushed a little and rubbed her cheek a little as the rest of the Ghostbusters ran off after Charlie.

Once their equipment was on, the three piled into the hearse, christened “Ecto-1”, and sped off to the location. Charlie pulled up in front of the Sedgewick Hotel and they quickly got out and made their way into the building.

“Alright,” Gabriel called out once they were in the lobby. “Anybody seen a ghost?”

A frenzied man in a suit came up to them quickly, and held out his hand for Gabriel to shake. “Oh, thank god you’re here. The guests are starting to ask questions and I’m running out of excuses.”

Charlie stepped up. “Has this sort of thing happened before?”

“Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor—the disturbances, I mean,” the man explained. “It’s been quiet for years, though! Two weeks ago, it started up again, but it was never ever  _ this _ bad.”

“Did you ever report it?” Cas asked, holding a notebook and pen.

“Oh, god no,” the man replied, mortified.

“Of course, you didn’t,” Gabriel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“The owners don’t even like us talking about it,” the man explained. “Just take care of it, alright? Quickly and quietly!”

“Don’t you worry!” Charlie assured him. “We deal with this kind of thing all the time!” They headed to the elevator and pushed the button requesting to go up. It seemed to take a bit of time, so they just stood awkwardly, smiling nervously at the guests that were eyeing their equipment with concern. Not nearly soon enough, the doors opened and they piled in, relieved to have eyes off of them.

“You know,” Charlie piped up. “It just occurred to me that we haven’t had a completely successful test of this equipment.”

“I blame myself,” Cas sighed.

They looked at Gabriel and he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, me too.”

“No sense in worrying about it now, I guess,” Charlie shrugged.

“Why worry?” Gabriel’s voice held a twinge of nervousness. “Each of us is just wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on our backs. No biggie.”

Charlie smiled. “You’re so right.” She picked up her gun. “Switch me on!” Cas flipped the switch in the back of Charlie’s proton pack, charging it up. Charlie switched on Gabriel’s and Gabriel turned Cas’ on. The anxiety coming from the three of them was nearly palpable as the elevator came to a stop. Slowly, the elevator doors opened, and Charlie took a tentative step out, turning to one side and then the other before nodding. “Come on.” Gabriel and Cas followed her out and they cautiously made their way down the hall. They heard a noise coming out of one of the rooms and stopped when they realized whatever it was seemed to be coming out toward them. When the thing emerged, Cas and Charlie quickly pulled the triggers on their guns and blasted it with their proton beams.

“Woah! Hold it!” Gabriel shouted, trying to lower his colleague’s blasters. They let go of the triggers and noticed that they had just shot a maid cart.

“What the hell are you doing?” The maid shouted, a Latina accent evident in her voice.

“Sorry,” the three scientists said in unison.

The maid wheeled her cart away muttering under her breath. “…Jodidos blancos y sus estúpidos juguetes…”

“Well,” Gabriel shrugged once the maid was gone. “Successful test?”

“I guess so,” Charlie nodded and held up her blaster again. “I think we better split up.”

“Good idea,” Cas agreed, already heading in the opposite direction of Charlie, leaving Gabriel standing there.

“Yeah, we can do more damage that way,” Gabriel sighed, deciding to follow after Charlie.

Charlie had barreled ahead, holding her gun out and prepared for anything that was about to come her way. After several yards of nothing, she came to an adjacent hallway and decided to turn into it. She almost dropped her blaster at the scene in front of her. A basketball-sized green blob with arms and a face was gorging itself on an abandoned room service tray. She quickly turned her head and grabbed the mic of the walkie.

“Gabriel!” Charlie hissed as quietly as possible. She let go of the button in anticipation of a response and when she didn’t get one, she squeezed again. “Gabriel! Copy, damn you!” She waited again, then sighed and brought her hand back down on her blaster. “Guess I’ll just hold him myself.” After a little internal pep talk, Charlie took a deep breath and fired a beam at the green blob. It missed by a mile and startled the ghost, who quickly made its escape through the wall. It left destruction in its wake, sending the cart careening toward an end table with a vase on it. Before Charlie could react, the cart slammed into the table and the vase toppled to the floor, shattering.

“Come in, Charlie,” Gabriel’s calm voice said over the walkie. Charlie quickly grabbed her mic and turned her head to talk into it.

“Gabriel! I saw it!” She jumped up and down as much as she could with the pack on her back. “I saw it! I saw it!”

Gabriel’s grip on his walkie had his knuckles going white as he stared down the hall at a horrifying green blob that was similarly staring him down. “It’s right here, Charlie,” he replied. “It’s looking at me.”

“Ugly little spud, isn’t he?” Charlie’s voice crackled over the walkie and Gabriel could feel the color drain out of his face as the blob grew obviously angry.

“Uh, I think he can hear you,” Gabriel squeaked into the mic.

“Don’t move,” Charlie instructed. Yeah, like that was a problem. Gabriel had the fight or flight responses of a deer. “It won’t hurt you.”

As if on cue, the blob opened its mouth wide, then came barreling down the hall. Gabriel threw up his arms to cover his face and screamed as it phased through him. In its wake, it left Gabriel on the floor, covered head-to-toe in ectoplasm.

“Gabriel!” Charlie shouted, flying around the corner. “Gabriel! What happened? Are you okay?”

Gabriel leaned forward on his elbows and turned his head to spit out some goo that had gotten in his mouth. “He slimed me.”

Charlie’s face lit up as she kneeled down. “That’s great! Actual physical contact! Can you move?”

“Charlie?” Cas’s voice came in over the walkie. “Charlie, please copy.”

“I feel sick,” Gabriel groaned, closing his eyes.

“Cas!” Charlie called into her mic. “I’m with Gabriel. He got slimed!”

“Fascinating,” Cas commented. “Save some for me. I’ll need both of you downstairs right away. It just went into a ballroom.”

Charlie turned to Gabriel. “You heard him.”

Gabriel took a deep breath and hoisted himself up off the ground. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go save our nerd.”

After Charlie grabbed a quick sample of ectoplasm from Gabriel’s hair, they quickly made their way down to the lobby and noticed Cas already talking to the hotel manager. “Sir, if you and your staff wait out here, we’ll take care of it,” Cas insisted. The hotel manager nodded and unlocked the door for them. The scientists quickly piled into the room and dove under a table in an attempt to be stealthy. Gabriel felt a chill go through him when he heard Cas lock the doors behind them.

“There,” Charlie motioned upward. “It’s on the ceiling.”

“Yep,” Gabriel swallowed hard. “That’s the one that got me.”

“Let’s go,” Cas decided, and they all squirmed out from under the table. Once they were all standing, Charlie took a deep breath.

“Ready, boys? Let’s get it!” Charlie shouted. All three beams shot into the air towards the ceiling and the blob, but they were too slow and the ghost flew out of the way. What didn’t move out of the way was the chandelier that detached from the ceiling and fell onto a table, shattering.

“That was me!” Charlie admitted. “My bad, guys.”

“It’s alright,” Gabriel sighed. “The table broke the fall.” He held up his blaster again in anticipation of the blob showing again.

“Wait,” Cas held out his hand. “I forgot to mention something very important.”

“What?” Gabriel snapped.

“Don’t cross the streams.”

“Why?”

“It would be…bad.”

Gabriel stared at Cas for a moment. “I’m fuzzy on the whole good-bad thing. Define ‘bad’.”

Cas shifted his weight a bit. “Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.”

Charlie groaned. “Total protonic reversal.”

“Alright. That’s pretty bad,” Gabriel agreed. “Safety tip, kids: don’t cross the streams. Thanks for that, Cas.” He shot a glare at his cousin, then glanced at the bar, where he saw the ghost indulging in some very expensive whiskey. “Charlie! You take the left. Cas, take the right.” Oh, this was a good idea. He knew it. “Okay, Chuck, give me one on the outside…now!”

Charlie raised her blaster, but it quickly got out of control, destroying several glasses and a cake. The ghost quickly ran away, but Charlie kept firing.

“Woah!” Gabriel pushed her blaster down. “Nice shootin’, Tex!” He rolled his eyes.

“That las throw took something out of him, I know it!” Charlie huffed, looking around the space and spotting the blob circling where the chandelier used to be. “I need some…I need some room to put the trap down.” She pointed at the tables. “There. We need to move those.” Gabriel and Cas quickly got to work, moving tables out of the way with no real regard for where they ended up.

“Woah, wait,” Gabriel held up his hand, grinning. “I’ve always wanted to do this.” He cracked his knuckles, then grabbed the end of the table cloth. As quick as he could, he pulled the cloth out from under the items on the table. Unsurprisingly, all of the dishware fell down, a significant amount of them breaking. However, one thing did survive. “Ay! The flowers are still standing!”

Cas rolled his eyes and Charlie rolled out the trap. It was a small rectangular box, no bigger than a shoe. “Alright. On my signal, Cas, I want a confinement stream from you, okay?” Cas nodded. “And…Go!” Cas fired his blaster and hit the ghost right on. It struggled in the beam and Cas gritted his teeth as he held it. “Good! Hold him up there. He’s gonna try and move. Now you, Gabe!” Gabriel fired as well and hit dead on, taking some of the struggling from Cas.

“It’s working!” Cas called out.

“Now, start bringing him down,” Charlie guided them down with her hands. “Slowly…you got him. Don’t cross the streams.”

“Maybe now you’ll learn your lesson about sliming a guy with a positron collider, huh?” Gabriel sneered as they brought the ghost level with his face.

“Shorten your stream, Gabriel!” Cas shouted. “I would prefer my face not burned off.” Gabriel adjusted with a sneer.

“Great, guys,” Charlie grinned. “I’m opening the trap now. Don’t look directly into it!” She stepped on a button and a hatch opened on the top of the box, emitting a bright light.

Cas’s eyes widened. “I looked at the trap”

Charlie ignored him. “Bring your streams off as soon as I close the trap.” They brought the ghost down as close to the trap as they could. “Alright, I’m closing it…now!” Charlie pressed the button with her foot again, and Gabriel and Cas switched off their beams and turned away. The light from the box grew brighter and the blob screamed as it got sucked into the trap. Once they heard it snap close, the three scientists turned to look, blaster pointed at it. Cas ventured forward and tapped it with his foot.

“It’s in there,” Cas confirmed, lowering his gun.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Charlie smiled and put her hands on her hips, purposefully ignoring the disaster they had made of the room. She walked over and picked up the smoking trap by the wire. “Let’s go tell them the good news!”

Gabriel strutted over to the doors, unlocked them, and threw both open. “We came, we saw, we kicked its ASS!”

The hotel manager scurried up to the group. “Did you see it? What was it?”

“We got it!” Charlie held up the trap, still smoking. She expected that was going to be a common thing.

“What is it?” The manager asked. “Will there be more of them?”

“Sir,” Charlie cleared her throat, “what you have there is what we refer to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class Five full roaming vapor. Real nasty one, too!”

Gabriel stepped between Charlie and the manager, a soft smile of his face. “Now, let’s talk seriously. For the entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones. Four thousand dollars for that.” The manager’s eyes widened. “But we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast, and that's only going to come to one thousand dollars, fortunately.”

“Five thousand dollars?” The manager scoffed. “Absolutely not. I won’t pay it.”

Gabriel frowned, then took a breath. “That’s alright.” He turned to Charlie. “We can put him back, can’t we?”

“We certainly can, Dr. Novak,” Charlie smirked, catching on.

“Woah!” The manager grabbed Gabriel’s arm. “No! It…It’s alright. I’ll pay it.”

“Smart choice,” Gabriel patted the manager’s shoulder. “Pleasure doing business with you.”


	5. Chapter 5

Ever since the hotel incident, the Ghostbusters had practically ascended to celebrity status. They were featured in newspapers and magazines around the US. There were countless interviews and they were constantly stopped in the street to have people take pictures or get autographs. Calls were coming in so often that sleeping was practically a luxury. Sure, there were some hoax, fake, and prank calls, but for the most part, the jobs were legitimate. It had gotten to be so much, that they made the decision to hire a fourth member. Gabriel was hoping that if this worked out, they could consider franchising to other cities, states, and maybe even countries.

Janine looked over her eyeglasses at the tall, freckled man that was seated on the other side of her desk. “So, Dean Winchester,” she smiled and set down her clipboard, “do you believe in UFOs, astral projection, mental telepathy, ESP,” her voice sped up and the man leaned closer to catch what she was saying, “clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trans-mediums, the Loch Ness monster, and the theory of Atlantis?” She clicked her tongue as she waited for an answer.

“Listen, lady,” Dean smirked. “If there’s a steady paycheck in it, I’ll believe anything you say.” Janine grinned back, but looked up when she saw Gabriel and Cas enter.

“I’m exhausted,” Cas sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah, buddy,” Gabriel clapped a hand on Cas’s shoulder, “you don’t look good.”

“I don’t?” Cas frowned.

“I just mean,” Gabriel gestured with his other hand, “ya know. You’ve looked better, yeah?” He walked over to Janine and handed her a paper. “That’s for the woman out in Brooklyn. She paid Visa.”

“Here,” Janine set the paper that Gabriel had given her to the side, and picked up a stack of folders. “Tonight’s workload.”

“Great,” Gabriel handed the folders off to Cas, then looked over at Dean. “Who’s this?”

“Dean Winchester,” Janine replied. “He’s here about the job.”

In the back of Gabriel’s mind, he knew he had heard that last name before, but he brushed it off and attributed it to being tired. “Superdupes. You’re hired. I’m Gabriel Novak, this is my cousin, Cas. Congratulations.”

Dean stood up to shake Gabriel’s hand, then turned to Cas to shake his. “Good to be working with you. Is Cas short for something?”

“Uh,” Cas could feel his face heating up as he looked at the new hire, and grabbed his hand. “Castiel, but Cas is fine.”

“That’s some name,” Dean smiled, then let go and pointed at the folders. “Can I take those for you?”

“Oh, yes,” Cas handed them off, smiling back. “Thank you. If you follow me, I’ll show you where they go.”

“Lead the way,” Dean gestured for Cas to walk ahead of him, then continued behind.

Gabriel had been watching the interaction with Janine, leaning back on her desk. “Could they have been more obvious?”

“They could have started taking off their clothes at first sight,” Janine suggested with a shrug. “I’da enjoyed the show.”

“You pervert,” Gabriel teased. “I knew there was a reason I kept you around.” He pushed himself off the desk, then stretched his arms above his head. “I’m going on a long lunch today.”

Janine rolled her eyes. “All of your lunches are long lunches.”

“Extra-long, then,” Gabriel amended, turning around. “Wait.” He turned back to Janine. “What was that guy’s last name again?”

“Winchester,” Janine reminded. “Like your lover boy. I think they’re brothers.”

Gabriel’s face lit up. “This is perfect.” He made sure he had the paper he needed, then turned back around. “Adios!”

 

As soon as he saw Sam come out of the concert hall, Gabriel was on his feet, flattening the front of his trench coat. He just had to see Sam, especially after that rehearsal. The way that Sam looked, so deep in concentration as he was pulling the bow across the stings of his cello, was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He started to walk toward Sam when he noticed that he wasn’t alone, and turned on his heel. There was no way he was gonna make it look like he had been waiting on that stone bench for close to an hour when Sam had someone else with him. Instead, he paced a bit, did a little twirl, and jumped on the fountain, waiting for Sam to notice. Gabriel let out a breath when he did, and stood still as Sam made his way over, carrying his cello case.

“Dr. Novak,” Sam smirked. “This is a surprise.”

“That was a great rehearsal,” Gabriel commented, nodding at the concert hall.

“You sat in?” Sam asked, eyes wide in surprise.

“Yes,” Gabriel smiled. “You’re the best one in your row.”

Sam sighed, but kept the smile on his face. “Well, thank you. You must have a great ear. Most people can’t hear me with the whole orchestra playing.”

“Hey,” Gabriel held up his finger. “I don’t have to take this abuse from you. I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.”

“Oh yeah, I heard you were a big celebrity now,” Sam leaned down a bit and lowered his voice. “Do you have any information on my case?”

Gabriel opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. “Who’s the stiff?” He nodded to the tall, serious looking violinist that had come out with Sam.

Sam looked back, then rolled his eyes. “That  _ stiff _ happens to be one of the finest musicians in the world! Now,” he placed a hand on Gabriel’s arm, “do you have some news for me?”

“Sure,” Gabriel stepped a little closer. “I’d prefer to give it to you in private, though.”

“Gabriel, please,” Sam frowned. “Just tell me now.”

“Fine,” Gabriel sighed, pulling out a folded up scrap of paper. “I found the name ‘Zuul’ for you. It refers to a demi-god worshipped around 6000 BC by the—“ He squinted at the paper, then handed it to Sam. “What’s that word?”

“Hittites?” Sam guessed.

“Yeah, them,” Gabriel nodded. “The Mesopotamians and Sumerians, too.”

“Zuul was the minion of Gozer,” Sam read, then looked up. “What’s Gozer?”

Gabriel came and stood next to Sam, then leaned over to read the paper. “Oh, Gozer was very big in Sumeria. Big dude.”

Sam handed the paper back and stepped away slightly. “Alright. What’s he doing in my fridge?”

“I’m working on that,” Gabriel folded the paper back up and stuck it in his pocket. “If we could get together Thursday night—I’m thinking nine-ish—we could, you know, exchange information.” He looked up at Sam hopefully and was met with an annoyed expression.

“I’m busy,” Sam decided.

“Mr. Winchester,” Gabriel cleared his throat. “You seem to think there is something wrong up here in your mind that says: he enjoys taking his evenings off and spending them with his clients. No. I'm making a special exception in your case. Because... I respect you.”

“Really?” Sam smiled and raised an eyebrow.

“It's corny but I respect you as artist!” Gabriel pointed at the cello case. “And as a dresser, too! This is a magnificent coordination you have going here today.” He stepped forward and pulled at Sam’s tie, making the musician chuckle.

“Fine,” Sam conceded. “Thursday it is. See you then.” He turned to walk back to the violinist.

“I’ll bring The Roylance Guide!” Gabriel called after him. “We’ll eat and read! It’ll be great!”

Sam waved back at Gabriel once last time before returning to Gadreel. It was stupid, but he was somehow attracted to that cheesy scientist. He’d never let himself live that down.

“So,” Gadreel huffed. “Who the hell was that?”

“Just a friend,” Sam looked back and saw Gabriel coming towards them

“A friend?” Gadreel pouted.

“An old friend,” Sam said quickly as Gabriel came up to Gadreel.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t get to meet you, sir!” Gabriel grabbed Gadreel’s hand and shook it violently. Gadreel grimaced as Gabriel turned to Sam. “I’ll see you Thursday.” With a wink, he spun on his heel and walked off.

“What on earth does he do?” Gadreel asked, shaking out his hand.

“Oh, he’s a scientist,” Sam chuckled, watching Gabriel almost get hit by a car as he crossed the street. God, he was in deep.

***

Gabriel practically skipped back to the firehouse, but his stride slowed when he noticed Janine’s concerned expression. “What is it?”

“There’s a man from the EPA here to see you,” Janine nodded back toward Gabriel’s office. “He’s waiting back there.”

“EPA?” Gabriel rushed over to Janine’s desk and leaned down so their conversation could be quieter. “What does he want?”

“Dunno,” Janine sighed. “All I do know is that I’ve been working two weeks without a break and you promised me you’d hire more help.”

“Janine,” Gabriel smiled as the phone started to ring. “Janine, Janine, Janine. Someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.” He nodded at the phone. “Gonna answer that?”

“I’ve quit better jobs than this,” Janine spat, gripping the phone receiver and bringing it to her ear. “Ghostbusters! What do you want!?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, then walked back to his office. Outside the door, he straightened up a bit, preparing himself for the impromptu meeting. After a deep breath, he opened the door to find a stiff, dark-haired man standing in his office. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Baldur Odinson,” The man stepped forward and held out his hand. “I represent the Environmental Protection Agency, third district.”

“Fantastic,” Gabriel took his hand and shook it. “How’s it going down there?” He passed Baldur and sat down behind his desk. “Have a seat.”

“Are you Gabriel Novak?” Baldur asked, unbuttoning his suit jacket and sitting down.

“I’m  _ Doctor _ Novak, yes,” Gabriel narrowed his eyes.

“Exactly what are you a doctor of,  _ Mister _ Novak?” Baldur goaded.

“Well,” Gabriel pointed behind him at the framed diplomas on the wall, “I have PhD’s in parapsychology and psychology. Earning doctorates makes you a doctor, I hear.”

Baldur frowned. “I see. So, now you catch ghosts?”

“In the most basic terms, yes,” Gabriel nodded.

“How many ghosts have you,” Baldur held up his fingers in quotations, “’caught’, Mr. Novak.”

“I’m not at liberty to say,” Gabriel was getting annoyed at his insistence on ignoring his proper title.

“And, where do you put these ghosts,” Baldur continued, “once you catch them?”

“A storage facility.”

“On the premises?”

“Yes.”

“May I see the facility?”

“Mmm…No.”

Baldur’s jaw clenched. “And why not?”

“Ah, see,” Gabriel leaned forward and put his elbow on his desk, resting his head in his hand, “you didn’t use the magic word.”

“What is this…magic word, Mr. Novak?” Baldur huffed.

“Seriously?” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “It’s literally always ‘please’.”

“Then,” Baldur stood up, “may I  _ please _ see the storage facility?”

Gabriel leaned back in his chair and twisted his mouth in thought. “Why?”

This appeared to be Baldur’s breaking point. “Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess for any possible environmental impact from your operation!” He spat, red-faced. “For instance, the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste chemicals in your basement! Now you either show me what is down there or I come back with a court order!” He took a few deep breaths, chest heaving, before calming down and straightening his suit jacket.

“Right then,” Gabriel stood up. “If that’s the case then, go get your court order!” He rounded the table and got into Baldur’s space. “I’ll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution!”

“Have it your way,” Baldur buttoned his jacket back up. “Good day,  _ Mister _ Novak.” He turned on his heel and walked out of Gabriel’s office, as pompous as ever.

Gabriel ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Fuck.”

 

“Charlie, I’m worried,” Cas announced, as he examined the storage system in the basement while Dean and Charlie ate lunch. “It’s getting crowded in there. All of my recent data points to something big on the horizon.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked, sandwich halfway to his mouth.

“Well,” Cas stepped over to Charlie and grabbed a Twinkie out of her lunch bag. “Assume this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area.” Dean raised an eyebrow but nodded. “According this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long weighing approximately six hundred pounds.”

Charlie coughed on her drink. “Are those readings accurate?”

“Ran them thrice,” Cas sighed.

Dean blinked. “That’s a hell of a Twinkie.”

“We could be on the verge of a fourfold crossrip!” Charlie scrambled out of her seat and inspected the storage system as well. “That would be a PKE surge of incredible, even dangerous proportions!”

Gabriel came bounding down the stairs, slightly out of breath. “Good. You’re all here. We just had a visit from the EPA. Major douchebag.” He looked over at Charlie. “How’s the grid holding up?”

Charlie cringed. “Not great.”

“Hey,” Dean pointed at Cas, “tell him about the Twinkie.”

“What about the Twinkie?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DEANNNNNN

**Author's Note:**

> If there's something weird in your neighborhood, give me a call.
> 
> Tumblr: @archangelsanonymous  
> Twitter: @Pattypixie


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